He had lived his whole life among books and references, knowing nothing of life but the paths of learning and the toil of specialisation. He was not a man of experience in the affairs of people; his life revolved in the orbit of research and study. He was among the outstanding students who joined the university as a teaching assistant after graduating.
Marriage was not his main concern, nor were relationships on his mind; he knew that Allah had forbidden free mixing and being alone with a woman, and his narrow specialisation and graduate studies were enough to keep him occupied.
At one stage of his studies, he came to know a young woman, a colleague. He paid the matter no attention, but his mother’s pressure on him to marry began to grow stronger. He thought: and why not? She is a colleague, of good character, and he knows her closely.
He opened the subject with her, and she welcomed it. Being colleagues made it easy for them to meet again and again without any formality. Often they had lunch together at a restaurant near the university… The call to prayer would ring out from the mosque, and circles of knowledge were held a stone’s throw away, but he was heedless, absorbed in the illusion of love and the secrets of compatibility.
The days went by, and he decided to propose formally. He sat with her family… and then came the surprise: exorbitant financial demands and harsh conditions.
He objected, but she led him to believe that these were ordinary things, that he was her whole life, and that he must give the utmost he could. So he changed. He began working beyond his capacity, wearing himself out to please her.
Once, in a moment of clarity, he heard the call to prayer… and his heart stirred: Where am I in relation to my Lord? To my prayer? To my worship?
Then came the crushing blow…
She told him plainly:
“I know you love your mother, and I appreciate that, but after marriage we will have our own private life. I don’t want her staying overnight with us.”
He was stunned. He asked her: “And if she falls ill?”
She said: “She can visit us, nothing more.”
He tried to discuss it with her family, but they insisted on the same position.
They threatened him: either accept, or lose everything!
He walked out of their house wandering… lost…
He walked without direction, until he heard the call to prayer and entered the mosque.
He sat in a corner, and Allah opened his heart. He heard the imam reading from al-Adab al-Mufrad: From Ibn ‘Abbas, may Allah be pleased with them both, who said: “I do not know of any deed that brings one closer to Allah, Mighty and Majestic, than dutifulness to one’s mother.”
There, he made his decision.
He chose his mother, and he chose Allah.
He broke off the engagement, left the money behind, and left the companionship that had lured him away from obeying his Lord.
He returned to his Lord weeping, remorseful, humbled…
And his heart was saying: “O Lord, I gave this up for Your sake, so mend what is broken in me.”
He asked his mother to choose a righteous wife for him, and he focused on his studies, and Allah compensated him.
Allah blessed him with a righteous wife, who was the best of helpers to him in obedience.
His mother fell ill, so he moved with his wife so that they could be at her service.
Her illness did not last long; Allah took her to Himself, pleased with her son.
In a moment of solitude, he sat reflecting:
Had I accepted her condition, how would I have lived, with my mother ill and me unable to serve her?
And stranger still… his wife today had become the closest of people to his mother, and so her standing rose in his heart and among his family.
But all of this was only because Allah had rescued him and permitted him to return to Him.
The Message
Whoever leaves something for the sake of Allah, Allah will compensate him with something better, and whoever chooses dutifulness to his mother, Allah opens for him all the doors of good.
So do not be a slave to heedlessness; rather, be a slave of Allah, and be keen on dutifulness to your mother, for she is the door to Paradise.